Yesterday was Wes and I’s second wedding anniversary. As we were painting the bathroom, cleaning the gutters, staining a dresser, and cleaning the garage (all with a smile on our faces) I started to think about how we have such a great relationship. We have only been married for 2 years and in that time we have moved twice, bought a house, and both gotten new jobs. We have done some of the most stressful things you can do while in a relationship…and our marriage is better than ever. (Yeah, I know, kids change everything leave me alone, we’re not there yet! lol!) It started me thinking about what makes our marriage work so well. There are SO many more reasons that the ones I came up with (ie: knowing each other for 9 years before getting married), but some of those are obviously not feasible for every couple, so I left them out:) This is not meant to be marriage advice. This isn’t a list of “rules for marriage”. Everyone’s relationship is different and wonderful in it’s own way. These are just things I noticed in our relationship, and that I attribute to our success in marriage thus far. Ten reasons why our marriage works:
1. We don’t take each other for granted. Your partner is a human being and they deserve to feel important. Taking your partner for granted is probably the biggest mistake a lot of people make and by the time you realize that you have done it, there can already be serious damage. I know what I have and I know that he is wonderful. I could never imagine my life without him and I make sure that he knows that. There is never a moment with Wes that I don’t feel loved. Don’t get me wrong, our marriage is not perfect. We get in little spats and we don’t always agree, but we NEVER take each other for granted.
2. We don’t put each other down. I see couples all the time who tear each other down to bring themselves back up. Telling your spouse that they are fat, stupid, or not worthy is in my eyes the worst thing you could do to a person. You are supposed to lift each other up and support one another, not tear each other down. Even if you don’t agree with your partners idea or thought, there is always a nice way to voice your opinion without making them feel as though they are stupid or don’t matter.
3. We spend alone time together. I’m not talking about those nights where we sit and watch endless episodes of House of Cards on Netflix. I’m talking about our dinners out where we sit and talk. Our hikes in the greenbelt just the two of us taking in the scenery of this beautiful city we live in. Riding our bikes in downtown and stopping to sit at the park for an hour. All of these little things we do together are memories that I never want to forget. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to go on double dates and go to weddings with friends, but those little moments we spend together alone are what helps build our relationship.
4. We both have our own “things”. He is a developer. He does developer things. I am in no way involved in these developer things unless specifically asked to be. If he needs help with something, or wants me to come watch him speak at a meet up for support, I am there. If not, he has his OWN thing that he can truly call his. I blog. I never thought that I would love blogging so much. I love it so much that I have pretty much stopped all of my crafting habits because I like to blog more. Unless of course I need to craft for the sake of blogging…then I will craft:) Haha! If I need him to take some photos, he does. If I need help with something developer related he is more than happy. In the end, this is MY thing that I created, it’s my baby and it’s nice to have something he doesn’t need to be involved in unless I want for him to be:)
5. We like to just BE with each other. You don’t have to talk ALL the time. Sometimes, it can be wonderful to sit in the park (or bed) and read all day long. Just sitting there, being together while we read is nice. He is close enough to touch, but not smothering. If we want to share a really great part of a book, we do. If we don’t, we can just sit there and be. Together. That is so nice. Silence can be wonderful for a relationship.
6. We laugh together. All the time. We have always had fun together, obviously, that’s why I married the guy…but Wes and I really do just GET each others humor. We believe that if you can’t laugh at yourself then life isn’t going to be any fun. We laugh at each others jokes when they are funny, we laugh at each other when our jokes aren’t funny, we laugh when things go so stupidly wrong that you can’t do anything but laugh. Laughter is good for the soul…and good for the marriage.
7. We learn new things from each other. I am constantly learning new things from Wes, whether it’s about tools, web development, or just how to be a better partner for him. I have learned more about home improvement since we moved into our house than I ever thought necessary…but I have also learned how to be a more open and communicative human being as well. On his end, I’m sure Wes has learned more about what different fashions are in than he ever wanted to know, but he has also learned how to be more nurturing and gentle from me.
8. We know how to apologize. This is one thing we really excel at in my personal opinion. We know when we have pissed each other off or hurt each others feelings. Sometimes it may take a little longer to apologize, but it always gets done. This goes back to taking each other for granted…If you assume that they will always forgive you, have too big of a head to apologize, or take their forgiveness for granted you are in deep.
9. We trust each other. In my opinion, if you don’t have trust in your partner, you don’t have much. He has female coworkers. He can go out with his friends to the bar alone. He has his own social media accounts. I trust that he isn’t chatting with other women on his Facebook account. I trust that he isn’t picking up girls at the bar with his friends. I trust that he has self control and that he loves me and vice versa for him.
10. We talk about everything. Everything. His work, my work. My blog, his side projects. My family, his family. Our hopes and dreams. My feelings, his feelings. Everything.
Linking up with: The Dwelling Tree