On Those Who Don’t Matter

I came out to all of my in real life friends and family that I had a blog pretty early on in the whole blogging process. I started my blog in April 2013 and I immediately told my sister, my mom, and my best friends. Obviously my husband the web developer who helped me put the whole thing together already knew, and Sophers has been a  regular on All That Glitters for about a year now so it’s safe to say she knows Momma is a blogger;-) Those people were EASY to tell. They are my support system, they are there for me. All of the important people in my life knew…that was the easy part. I didn’t start posting anything about my blog on my personal Facebook until last August or so, because let’s be honest, I was scared. What was I scared of? Being judged, people talking, let’s just say I was scared of a whole bunch of people thinking I was really dumb.

I have over 1000 Facebook friends, but I could probably only list a couple hundred off the top of my head, maybe even just a hundred or so if we are being brutally honest. Now, do I ACTUALLY care what those 800 people that I can’t list actually think? Not in any way shape or form. To be honest, I should probably go weed through my friends on Facebook, but I’ll say what everyone is thinking: I like to stalk, so they’re staying:) Now, if you take away those 800 people, that leaves me with 200 or so that I actually KNOW. I don’t know why, but those 200 people, yeah…those are the people I was afraid of. It’s unfortunate that I feel this way, but I went to school with most of these people, I KNOW them and I know that they talk. They talk about their friends, they talk about their families, so of course they would talk about their acquaintances that used to be friends right? Maybe not, maybe I’m just giving myself too much credit here in thinking that ANYONE is talking about me, lol, but that was one of my fears in letting those 200 people know about my blog.

You see, I have found over the last 5 years, since graduating from college, that the people I used to be relatively close with are the ones that are the most judgmental and least supportive. Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t some really great people who have sent me messages, comments, liked Facebook pages and posts, etc. and for those people *you know who you are*, thank you. Thank you so much for being a supportive, wonderful person even if we were never that close. I have friends that were there for 4 years in college and then because of our differing opinions now no longer keep in contact with me. These people were once a HUGE part of my everyday life and not one of them has made any sort of hint that they know about this huge part of my life.

I guess part of the point of this long rambling post, is that you find out who your friends are when you grow up. The ones that actually matter and care will stay and the ones that don’t move on and that’s okay. Another big thing, and probably the most important one, is that we all need to be a lot less concerned about what other people think. I know, it’s really hard, but if we would all try to be a little bit more comfortable in our skin and care less about what others though, our lives would be so much happier! Always remember, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” I have learned so much during this blogging process, but one of the biggest things is not to be afraid of what people think. Always remember, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind, don't matter."

Now, onto something a little bit lighter: that announcement I promised you yesterday! I have been asked to be the fashion contributor for Jennifer’s blog over at Busy Being Jennifer and I am so excited, because today is my first post! Woo hoo! So, go ahead, click on over to Busy Being Jennifer for a how to post about styling that white dress you have during the fall season!

2 ways to style your white dress Two ways to style your white dress this fall

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16 Comments On Those Who Don’t Matter

  1. Lindsay

    Whoops… not sure if my comment went through but it said connection error! Only my boyfriend and close family know about my blog. I still keep it top secret from coworkers and friends. Haha one of these days I will tell everyone but I am scared that they will be pissed I didn’t tell them sooner

  2. Fi

    I’ve had such a tough time with friendships, I find them to be so fickle. I’m sorry you’ve also had an experience like this.

  3. Angelic Sinova

    I LOVE this! I started my blog in May ’13 and I didn’t tell anyone but close friends and family for a long time! Once I shared it with everyone it become clear who my real support system was, but honestly I am my biggest supporter and that’s all that matters <3

  4. Michelle Snow

    I still keep my blog a complete secret from my friends and family. I am impressed at your bravery to tell people. But when it comes right down to it the people who matter in your life care about you and they will support you.

  5. Nancy

    I’m the same way as you – the people who “mattered” to me knew about my blog from the very beginning, and then slowly my co-workers found out one after another and by the end of it (when I was leaving to move to a different country!!!) I e-mailed everyone about it and told them to keep up with me there ahahaha.

  6. JoAnn

    It’s amazing how hard it is to tell friends you have a blog. Some are like, “oh, how cute” and don’t take me seriously at all. I feel like I need to stop them and say, “Wait, this is a big thing! I put myself out there everyday. I want to be a big deal and this is not a “cute” situation.” :-)

  7. Liv

    I can totally relate!!!! I think it’s great though that you’ve just kept moving forward though!!! And making notes on who’s your friend and who’s not!

  8. Christen

    I’ll be honest. I feel dumb sometimes about my blogs. I don;t usually post on my regular FB page usually just my blog’s page but every now and then I do. I sort of feel like people will think I am silly or something. A blog is also a way you put yourself out there to the world and I am so closed off in real life except with small number of people I am very close to. But you’re right, it doesn’t matter. And that’s why i keep blogging even though I know my kids’ friends moms might find them or co-workers might find them, because I need to be truw to myself and give this whole thing that I love doing a shot even if it is scary or is out of my comfort zone.

  9. Pary Moppins

    Bloggers are in a very vulnerable place. It is upsetting knowing there are people who seem to do nothing but try to pick fights – and those are the folks you DON’T know! So it can be rather deflating to get negative comments or patronizing ones from people you DO know. Knowing who your true friends are is a big part of growing up. Hugs and congratulations on your new “gig.” :)


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